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If you’re in a long term relationship you know there is a need to spice things up in the bedroom. A healthy sex life makes for a healthy life and you must be willing to try new things to keep it interesting. It might seem obvious but an easy thing to switch things up with is by introducing sex toys into the bedroom.

There are many different kinds of toys that you could play with. Everything from dildos and vibrators to sex swings and bondage toys. An underrated toy to use as a couple is Fleshlights! Its pretty common for the man to use a dildo on the woman but its also fun for a woman to use a Fleshlight on her man. Its almost like having a threesome without involving another person!

If this seems like something you’d be into – how do you go about introducing it?

Talk about it

If you have never had a reason to know your partner’s opinion on sex toys, it might seem difficult to talk about it with them. But this is the first way to introduce sex toys into your bedroom. In talking about it, don’t just jump into the conversation, but ease into by following these steps:

The preamble

You can introduce sex toys to your partner by dropping hints that show you are open to sex toys in the bedroom. You can do this subtly, as it is the preamble to the main talk that you would eventually have with your partner. What it achieves is that it makes your partner aware that you might have an interest in that area. That way, they are mentally prepared when you fully bring it up in a conversation. You can make little comments about sex toys around the house to pique their awareness and curiosity.

The talk

After the preamble and subtle hints, you can have “the talk” about it with your partner. Converse honestly and freely while respecting their personal preference. Tell your partner how you feel about using sex toys and how it can benefit your relationship and sex life. You can begin by sharing what you know or have learned about sex toys, and how they can be beneficial. You have to be open to the way they respond to this though and listen to their opinions and concerns.

Request a trial

Be direct about how you feel and what you want, but do not undermine your partner’s sexual prowess, tell them how you enjoy sex with them and how you feel sex toys would make it even more enjoyable with them. Make sure your request as much as possible is void of criticism and complaints. Let your partner know that you want to give it a try.

Be willing to compromise

This is the last phase of the talk, ask and listen to how they feel about your suggestion. Your partner might not agree to all your terms at once, you must be willing to look and settle for a gray area in the conversation. Be open to a compromise.

Make inquiries about the toy you want together

Even if you brought up the suggestion and your partner agreed, make sure you carry them along, and they are actively involved in looking for a toy that you would both enjoy. You can go shopping for one together, read up on some, or make enquiries by other means. You are a team, and the toy is for you both, don’t go solo in the purchase.

Start with the basics

Seeing that your partner is still new to the whole idea, start with simple basic toys. You could get a couple’s vibrator, or something more niche like a dragon dildo – no need to go the whole fifty-shades-of-gray-toy-room mile the first time.

Share your feelings

After trying out a sex toy for the first time, talk about your experience and your feelings, share how you enjoyed it, and enquire if your partner liked it too. That way, they would be more open to trying again.

Wrap Up

Sex toys can take your relationship and sex life to the next level. If you follow any (or all) of these suggestions, you’ll be well on your way to talking clearly and freely with your partner, which will improve your sex life.