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If it’s your first time with an escort, you may feel unsure about whether or not you should leave a review. Or even how to leave a review. We spoke to the escort directory experts at Secret Desire to navigate the unknown and figure out exactly what type of review to leave.

Leaving a review for your escort is wildly important- both for her, and for other prospective clients. This is because reviews can give clients a chance to share what they did and didn’t like about an escort, making it much more simple for future clients to decide whether or not any particular escort will be a good fit for them. Reading escort reviews is the best way to really get some good non-biased information on any companion you may be considering.

However, we’ve all experienced the reviews that aren’t worth the single megabyte of memory that they are written on. If reviews drone on, are incredibly boring, or completely unrelatable, chances are you’re not even going to waste your time reading them. So why waste your time writing one? This simple guide will help provide some framework for how to write a useful review, that people will actually want to read.

What to Include in Your Escort Review

For starters, it’s important to decide how you felt about your encounter. What are some of the things your escort did well? Are there things you would like to change? Leaving a review for a good experience is just as important as leaving a review outlining a bad one. Remember that everyone is different, and no two clients will be looking for the exact same experience. It’s also important to remember that certain escorts have areas of expertise. It’s always wise to pay close attention to the ad on the escort directory, or to talk to an agency directly, especially when you’re looking for niche talent.

Don’t get too explicit. Try and keep personal details to a minimum- whether you’re talking about the escort, or yourself. For most potential clients, the ideal review will discuss expectation vs. reality when it comes to escort appearance and size. Sort of a note ensuring “what you see is what you get” is often more important to prospective clients than intimate details about your encounter in specific. Remarking on aspects like her personality or her intelligence, when weighed against her bio, are important subjects for most people looking to hire. An escort that describes herself as “nerdy” and “girl-next-door”, but shows up looking like a PSE with no scrap of intellect to be found can be a deal breaker for some.

Whether you were getting Houston body rubs, or erotic massage, or any other naughty little extra, always make sure that any specifics are on the legal up and up. The last thing you want your review to do is open you, or your escort up to any untoward legal complications. Remember what it is you’re paying for and be genuine, but also choose your words carefully. Paying some attention to the punctuality of your date is also useful for many people to know, as you’re paying for her time, it’s good to know that it is considered with care.

What to Leave Out

Again- any personal, intimate, or gorey details need not apply. If you’re unhappy with your encounter- absolutely leave a review- but don’t write it while you’re angry. These reviews often get overlooked as they are too personal and lack useful details. Try and stick to the format above, and only write a review when you’re in a calm state of mind. However, if there were obvious missteps on behalf of your escort (like clock-watching, not matching her picture, or if she tried to end the date early without grounds to do so) these are really important tidbits to add. Just try to keep any name calling, or cursing, out of it.

Don’t give out any personally identifying details that the escort didn’t give freely to begin with. Like anything that’s off profile that may have come up during your time together. These sorts of intimate, or truly personal details were discussed between the two of you for a reason- they’re not for anyone else’s consumption. So leave those sweet nothings out. Do make sure that you add in any relevant contact information however- like the escort directory that you used to find your escort, or the agency that she works for.

Find a way to praise any special effort made, without going into the nitty gritty of it. Did your escort come well equipped for any pre-discussed experiences? Going the extra mile to provide a great experience that was personalized to your taste? Pop that into the review and give her the credit she deserves.

Okay ladies, it’s time to get real about the porn we’re just not watching.

For decades, really even centuries, it has been less than acceptable for women to genuinely discuss their own erotic predilections. Even now, in 2020- there are women in the world who are criminalized for exploring or flaunting their own particular brand of sexuality. Adult toys and products have historically been a bit of a boys club, with few good options and female-focused products up until the last 10 years.

Even though barriers to feminine eroticism are being routinely broken down in the present times- why are we still seemingly unable to talk about porn for women? “It’s probably because there are few places that offer pornographic content that really fit a women’s lens of desire.” Says a representative for Porndoe, a site focused on providing erotica for all with a dedicated female-centric category.

So what exactly is “porn for women” and why has it taken us so long to openly demand it?

The World of Female Sensuality

In 2016, the megastar of the 80’s and 90’s, Susan Sarandon told the world that she wanted to direct female-friendly pornography, famously quipping that “most pornography is brutal and doesn’t look pleasurable from a female point of view.” The backlash from the Twittersphere was just as devastating as it usually is when a boomer lets their ignorance slip in such an obvious way- pelting the actor-come-director with all sorts of information regarding the “alt-porn” that already exists.

Feminist porn, queer porn, lesbian and cheer porn…. the list was near expansive enough to wind up sounding like a severely misguided Dr.Seuss book. Perhaps the most telling bit was that the thread, while filled with voices from all over the globe, still didn’t stop a lot of people from being surprised that these types of erotic imagery exist. So what is it exactly that makes porn for women different from that of your everyday mainstream male eroticism? Psychology seems to think it is your brain.

While fetishism and eroticism are absolutely a spectrum of lustful desires, and it’s roughly impossible to distill them down to a simple men vs. women category, sexual minds really do differ greatly between the two. “They’re as different as night and day,” says sex therapist, Stephen Snyder MD in his psychology today article devoted to the subject.

Basic Differences

In a nutshell, the good doctor talks about how-essentially- men’s brains tend to focus and prioritize physical attributes and body parts for erotic stimulation, where women’s brains seem to want more context-based sexuality. Meaning that porn for women not only looks different, but requires a completely different paradigm. While at the same time, addressing that there is no exact male or female representation of eroticism, but more of a “mosaic” of both. A term used by Snyder and others to represent that brains often combine sensually appealing patterns of both male and female.

But this doesn’t really begin to address the fact that a large majority of women have little erotic interest in traditional pornography. In 2018 The Journal of Sex Research produced a study, reviewing Women’s experience of pornography, which lead to some pretty illuminating discoveries. The paper revealed that women were much more empathetic consumers of pornography- paying closer attention to the facial expressions and potential feelings of the actors. Which, if you’ve ever watched conventional pornography may help you understand why the actors could be difficult to relate to. Wooden faces and oftentimes uncomfortable scenarios and positions leave much to be desired for a typical female brain.

What Mainstream Porn Keeps Missing

When it comes to porn for women, there is definitely a gap to be filled. No pun intended. Not only for better quality storylines and more genuine actors but for normalizing the entire experience. One of the biggest takeaways of the 2018 paper suggests that a large problem for most women when consuming pornography isn’t what’s being watched, but how they feel about watching it, from an ethical perspective.

As many women involved in the study reported that watching porn was arousing, but they felt conflicted as to whether it was socially appropriate for them. Making it cringeworthy and really difficult to even discuss, or sexually categorize. What porn for women and sites like Porndoe really hope to achieve is a healthier and more open public discourse among women about their porn preferences. So that it doesn’t take a well-known celebrity’s Twitter fail to find the porn that works for them.