A Couple’s Guide to BDSM

Good sex is open sex that isn’t defined by limitations. If you and your partner are willing to try something new, societal norms shouldn’t stop you from embarking on an exciting erotic journey.

Power play scenarios and BDSM get many people curious, hot and bothered. Some like being dominated, while others prefer the role of control during sex.

Incorporating BDSM in your relationship can have many benefits, as long as the choice is fully consensual and properly discussed between the two of you.

Apart from talking about it, you’ll need to do a couple of additional things to make power play dynamics exciting and equally satisfying for both people involved.

Start by Setting Boundaries
BDSM is a pretty broad term. If you decide that you’d like to test it out, the next thing to do would be discuss the scope of things and experiences you’d be open to.

For some people, BDSM is all about getting restrained and exploring a bit of sensory deprivation (through the use of eye masks, for example). Others like some impact play through the use of spanking toys, whips and paddles. There are even more BDSM elements worth testing out like orgasm denial, temperature play, humiliation, shibari, etc.

Be very honest about what you’d enjoy and where your limits stand. Let your partner be open about their desires, as well. Such a discussion will give you a good BDSM framework that has solid boundaries and new elements of sexual exploration that you can safely engage in.

Get the Right Equipment
DIY BDSM is never a good idea.

Sure, you can use a scarf to tie your partner’s hands.

If you’re interested in more intricate bondage or restraining, however, get specialized kits for the purpose.

Specialized BDSM gear is created for two main things – comfort and safety. Bondage pieces have enough padding and they size is adjustable. These pieces will never cut off circulation, even if you decide to engage in prolonged sessions.

The same applies to impact play items, clamps, chastity devices and other kinds of bondage gear. Made of high-quality materials and featuring safeguards, these items are easy to employ and easy to take off in the event of needing to discontinue a session.

Take Good Care of Your BDSM Equipment
Before attempting anything, you’ll also need to learn how to take good care of your BDSM equipment.

All sex toys need to be cleaned thoroughly and stored correctly.

This is especially important whenever toys come in contact with body fluids. If an item is used in a way that can draw blood (like a wartenberg wheel) should be sterilized before and after each use.

Making sure your BDSM equipment is properly clean and safe will give you peace of mind and a chance to explore new aspects of sexual stimulation without worries.

Communicate and Experience New Things
Good communication is super important during sex and it becomes even more crucial when you’re doing BDSM.

Get talking about likes and dislikes. Have a safe word in place. Don’t be afraid of changing your mind in the middle of an experience and letting your partner know.

Such openness builds intimacy and that makes the sex even better. This is probably the biggest advantage that couples trying BDSM discover. A lot of trust is required to make power play scenarios mutually-satisfying. You can build such trust when you talk and you remain receptive of your partner’s needs or limitations.

In time, you can continue adding new sensations and experiences to your sex repertoire. The communication rule should remain in place. In fact, it should become even more important if you make the decision to go into niche experiences and more hardcore BDSM stuff.

Always End a Session with Aftercare
If you’re thinking about making BDSM a regular part of your sex routine, aftercare is something that you’ll need to thoroughly familiarize yourself with.

The term aftercare refers to giving a partner physical and emotional care after an intense BDSM session. Usually, aftercare is considered a necessity for a submissive partner. Being a dom, however, can also be both physically and emotionally draining. Thus, both of you may need some attention, cuddling and time to cool down.

Aftercare looks different for each couple. Some like talking after having BDSM sex. Others cuddle under a fuzzy blanket and share a warm cup of tea or coffee. Come up with a cool down ritual that will be enjoyable for both and make that experience the lovely end of a highly intense sex session.

BDSM can be anything you want it to be. If you’re eager about adding some BDSM spice to your sex life, talk to your partner first. Make sure your needs and desires align. Once you reach an agreement about the addition of new sexual elements to your routine, you’ll easily discover the things that work and the best ways to make them a regular part of your lovemaking.